The Twelve Months of House Hunting

Let me start by saying this:  Trying to buy a house in this market is the worst.

Not only are the prices exorbitant, but the inventory is super low, the desperation is impossibly high, and the success rates are pretty dang dismal.

Cam and I have been actively trying to buy a house since June of 2021, and we have yet to strike gold.  We’ve searched several suburbs, put in multiple offers, seen over sixty houses, and yet… nada.  The process is long, painful, and laborious:  To say that we’re riding an emotional rollercoaster wouldn’t even begin to skim the surface.  In fact, when we saw this Rocket Mortgage commercial during the Super Bowl we thought, “yes, our people!”

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ukLeyxOA8uk

To say we are trying one new thing a day would be the understatement of a lifetime:  Since the start of our search Cam and I have been constantly putting ourselves out there, trying all the new things, and pushing ourselves well beyond our comfort zones.  It has been good, bad, ugly, humbling, and filled with growth and learning in all the best and worst ways. 


Honestly, it’s probably impossible to accurately capture the scope and magnitude of our epic, abysmal journey to-date.  But, in an attempt to do so, here is a little ditty I created called the “Twelve Months of House Hunting.”  Think of it as the sister song to the beloved, infinitely popular “Twelve Days of Christmas.”  It should give you a pretty darn accurate glimpse into this volatile market, and it goes a little something like this:

On the first month of house hunting, my nemesis sent to me

100k over asking.


On the second month of house hunting, my nemesis sent to me

Two cat-pee carpets

And 100k over asking.


On the third month of house hunting, my nemesis sent to me

Three shitty renos

Two cat-pee carpets

And 100k over asking.


On the fourth month of house hunting, my nemesis sent to me

Four frantic realtors

Three shitty renos

Two cat-pee carpets

And 100k over asking.


On the fifth month of house hunting, my nemesis sent to me

Five cash-filled suitcases

Four frantic realtors

Three shitty renos

Two cat-pee carpets

And 100k over asking.


On the sixth month of house hunting, my nemesis sent to me

Six didn’t-bother-to-take-the-trash-outs  

Five cash-filled suitcases

Four frantic realtors

Three shitty renos

Two cat-pee carpets

And 100k over asking.


On the seventh month of house hunting, my nemesis sent to me

Seven foundations a-cracking  

Six didn’t-bother-to-take-the-trash-outs  

Five cash-filled suitcases

Four frantic realtors

Three shitty renos

Two cat-pee carpets

And 100k over asking.


On the eighth month of house hunting, my nemesis sent to me

Eight couples a-fighting

Seven foundations a-cracking  

Six didn’t-bother-to-take-the-trash-outs  

Five cash-filled suitcases

Four frantic realtors

Three shitty renos

Two cat-pee carpets

And 100k over asking.


On the ninth month of house hunting, my nemesis sent to me

Nine appraisal gap shitshows  

Eight couples a-fighting

Seven foundations a-cracking  

Six didn’t-bother-to-take-the-trash-outs  

Five cash-filled suitcases

Four frantic realtors

Three shitty renos

Two cat-pee carpets

And 100k over asking.


On the tenth month of house hunting, my nemesis sent to me

Ten interest rates creeping

Nine appraisal gap shitshows  

Eight couples a-fighting

Seven foundations a-cracking  

Six didn’t-bother-to-take-the-trash-outs  

Five cash-filled suitcases

Four frantic realtors

Three shitty renos

Two cat-pee carpets

And 100k over asking.


On the eleventh month of house hunting, my nemesis sent to me

Eleven overpriced houses  

Ten interest rates creeping

Nine appraisal gap shitshows  

Eight couples a-fighting

Seven foundations a-cracking  

Six didn’t-bother-to-take-the-trash-outs  

Five cash-filled suitcases

Four frantic realtors

Three shitty renos

Two cat-pee carpets

And 100k over asking.


On the twelfth month of house hunting, my nemesis sent to me

Twelve competing offers

Eleven overpriced houses  

Ten interest rates creeping

Nine appraisal gap shitshows  

Eight couples a-fighting

Seven foundations a-cracking  

Six didn’t-bother-to-take-the-trash-outs  

Five cash-filled suitcases

Four frantic realtors

Three shitty renos

Two cat-pee carpets

And 100k over asking.

(Sing it with me now!)

And 100k over asking.


Do you see what we’re dealing with?  Ladies and gentlemen, let me tell you this:  It’s the wild, wild west out there, and in this market anything goes.  So far we’ve been on the journey of a lifetime, and yet I can’t tell if we’re super close to finding “the one” or if we’re just heating up.  Regardless, I know the best things in life take time, and I’m confident our house will find us when the stars are aligned and the time is right.

But for now… we wait.  We wait, we save, and we continue to sing the “Twelve Months of House Hunting” until we either hit twelve actual months of searching or finally find our home.  Whatever comes first I’m here for it and can’t wait to begin the next chapter of our adventure!

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