Sometimes I think that in order to change we believe we must take drastic action or fearlessly do something on a large scale that leads to a resounding ripple effect with lasting implications. We often hear the phrase “go big, or go home” but sometimes the best changes, the most impactful occasions for growth, happen when we take one small step that propels us from our normal habits and routines and inevitably forces us to experience something refreshing and new. Living the mantra of doing “one thing a day that scares you” doesn’t necessarily need to terrify you in order to be effective; rather, the most impactful experiences in life typically happen when we embrace small wins and recognize the beauty that exists even in the most seemingly ordinary moments.
The pandemic has been heartbreaking and disruptive in so many ways, but aside from the obvious medical concerns, the necessary distance from loved ones and strain on social connection has been particularly difficult to navigate. Before Covid-19, how often did we take commonplace events like grabbing coffee with a coworker, meeting up for dinner with a friend, or going home for the holidays for granted, expecting these occasions to transpire with the consistency and cyclical reliability of the sun giving way to the moon? How often did we fail to pause and examine the sheer privilege and joy associated with these moments, cherishing them as the deeply critical, nourishing experiences they are? Humans are not meant to go it alone; we need each other to survive, let alone thrive, and when our connections suffer, our own suffering inevitably follows suit.
Last weekend I saw my parents for the first time in a long time, and it made me happy in ways I can’t even begin to explain. Sure, I miss traveling, dining out at restaurants, and the sense of “normalcy” we all once knew, but the thing I’ve missed most through all of this is being able to regularly see the people I care about most. Now, as more and more people continue to get vaccinated, life is slowly starting to open up again: Finally, the world is beginning to turn back towards connection in deeply healing, restorative ways.
Little did I know a weekend with my mom and dad would be such a treasured commodity. Growing up, my parents were around constantly, and even as I’ve matured and moved away, we’ve been fortunate to still see each other on a somewhat regular basis. However, the pandemic disrupted all of that, and in addition to turning the rest of the world on its head, it made me severely stop to pause and rethink my greatest priorities. That said, when I saw mom and dad pull up outside my apartment window, my face lit up in a way it hasn’t in months. Not only did their arrival signal a change in the stark mundanity of what has become my daily homebound routine, but it celebrated a profound shift in my overall perspective. I could hardly believe it: These were my people, and they were finally here!
It’s odd how even when you don’t see someone in a while you are still able to comfortably fall back into your well-worn ways of being together. Mom and dad’s visit didn’t center on any major event, and we didn’t even do anything particularly noteworthy during their stay. And yet, it was one of the most special, restorative, life-giving weekends I’ve had in a long time.
We sat and sipped coffee for hours, enjoying each other’s company while making up for lost time.
We roamed Target with fervor and curiosity, approaching each aisle as if it contained the very secrets to life.
We took long walks, enjoying the fresh air while marveling at the various wildlife teeming around us.
We patiently and repeatedly waited in the car for hours, telling stories as our takeout orders slowly came together.
We shamelessly stalked numerous weather apps, tracking updates until we could perfectly nab a brief reprieve from the rain, sit out on a vineyard lawn, and sip wine while basking in the glorious sun.
We stayed up late playing board games and laughing hysterically while ranking various candies and squabbling over the types of treats we prefer versus what we would resort to if absolutely desperate.
We did nothing, and yet we did everything, soaking up each other’s energy and reveling in the sheer delight of shared company.
It was short, it was ordinary, and it was a small win. But it was also one of the greatest gifts I’ve experienced in a long, long time.
So keep in mind that stretching yourself to learn and grow in new ways doesn’t always need to be monumental in order to be effective. Rather, sometimes the most impactful growth comes when we intentionally express gratitude for what we already have and embrace life’s regular, ordinary moments for the beautiful gifts they are.
Said another way, often the most important thing we can do for ourselves is look for the good, cherish the moment, and whole-heartedly embrace small wins.
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