I am not one to do things halfway. If I commit myself to something, then I commit. In the words of Ron Swanson from Parks and Rec, “Never half ass two things: Whole ass one thing.”
Shouldn’t the same thinking apply to all facets of life? Why go blindly through the motions: Who does that benefit? Certainly not you. Rather, add a bit of interest and “purple pizzazz” to your life! The word “pizzazz” alone epitomizes the mindset for which I am advocating: energy, vitality, vigor, attractive style, dash, flair… Why shouldn’t we live our lives this way? What are we afraid of?
Lately I’ve noticed I am in a rut. Well, actually, that’s not true. Rather, I am surrounded by people who are, themselves, in a rut. The distinction is an important one. Now, this is not to say I don’t have my fair share of challenges, “bad days,” and obstacles to overcome: I do, and to think otherwise would be asinine. In fact, despite appearances, we all have our own successes and struggles, joys and hardships: Don’t kid yourself.[1]
However, I am personally exhausted from being brought down by other peoples’ negativity. Important clarification here: This does not mean I am a soulless human being who lacks all compassion and concern for my fellow man. To the contrary, I love my fellow man (and woman!), and I will drop everything and bend over backwards for the people in my life… If it is for a good reason. Further important clarification here: You whining for not wanting to go to work tomorrow because it is a Monday is not a good reason. Pull up your big girl panties, be like Nike, and “just do it!”
My point is this: I love people. Specifically, my mother has passed on her borderline-obsessive fascination with giving people thoughtful gifts; I believe making people laugh and smile is contagious; and I feel fulfilled after quality time and a solid conversation with friends. However, I most certainly do not love listening to people bitch and moan about having to do what is required of them and/or work hard. These people are everywhere: I know because, sometimes, I am one of them.
If laughter is contagious, so is complaining. In fact, as I continue to grow and mature, I see just how prevalent complaining is. In fact, not only does misery love company, but I’ve learned misery loves to outdo its company. Think about it: When’s the last time you were sharing your problems with someone (complaining or not) and, instead of listening, that other person fired back with their own laundry list of grievances that are perceivably ten times worse… I bet it hasn’t been too long. And, while I’d like to say these scenarios have the same charm and humor as Kristin Wiig’s SNL character, Penelope—the ultimate one-upper[2]—they just don’t. Your panic attack most certainly was not having a panic attack, “soo…” Do us all a favor and stop complaining.
Please do not take this to mean I don’t do my fair share of complaining. I do: It is impossible not to. Venting is inherently human, and I wouldn’t have it any other way. The trick, however, is to not let negativity overwhelm you so that it dominates your life. If your complaints become your reality and negatively tint your perspective of life, then you are doing something wrong. It’s the most dangerous game, and, frankly, “winning” and overcoming it has a lot to do with the people we choose to surround ourselves with[3].
While we shouldn’t ignore incessantly negative people, reciprocating and “giving in” only positively reinforces and perpetuates the behavior, ultimately leaving you to feel like crap. Oprah advocates, “Surround yourself with only people who are going to lift you higher.” This task can’t be taken lightly. It is so easy to give in to our weaknesses and so difficult to defy our confines and transcend the boundaries that constrain and limit us. Yes, it’s difficult to be happy, but why waste our time trying to be anything but?
Earl Nightingale conveys, “Your world is a living expression of how you are using—and how you have used—your mind[4].” I’m pretty sure the world of a constant complainer looks something like this…
Is THIS what we want? I don’t. That’s a lot of wasted energy. To the contrary, I’d rather use my mind, work a little at being happy, and fight for my world to look something like this…
So here’s the question: Why not? Why let ourselves be controlled by the irresponsible emotions of the people around us? Eleanor Roosevelt famously declares, “No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.” By the same token, no one can make you feel like shit without your consent. And, while feeling like shit is an easy thing to do, it is, well, quite shitty. We waste multitudes of perfectly good time and energy letting meaningless, deleterious things dominate our attention. In fact, “what weakens us is feeling offended by the deeds and misdeeds of our fellow men. Our self-importance requires that we spend most of our lives offended by someone[5].” Isn’t that true. Why let someone’s own negativity harmfully sway you? You are your own person: You are simultaneously too insignificant and too important to let the actions of others offend and influence you. Take action and resist!
In addition to her adorably classic, colorful, fashion-forward handbags, one of the reasons I admire Kate Spade is for her vibrant, intoxicatingly optimistic outlook on life. Look for this sunny enthusiasm the next time you enter a Kate Spade store.[6] Notably, Kate Spade famously capitalizes on “She is ____” sentiments that both reaffirm and inspire her loyal fashion followers. Examples of these written treasures include: “she leaves a little sparkle wherever she goes;” “she is quick and curious, playful and strong;” “she has a way with words, red lipstick, and making an entrance.”
I could go on. And I will. Additionally, she promotes inspiring assertions of confidence such as:
“In order to lead a fascinating life— one brimming with art, music intrigue, and romance—you must surround yourself with precisely those things.”
“Be happy. Be bright. Be you.”
“The cure for boredom is curiosity. There is no cure for curiosity.”
“Style is the sum of so many things—beginning with a sense of who you are and having self-confidence[7].”
And while my Spade litany of motivational witticisms might simply be a ploy to land one of her charming bags[8], there’s something to her train of thought: “Be happy. Be bright. Be you.” Don’t empower others with the ability to bring you down. Rather, “when you see a person without a smile, give them one of yours.”[9] Why simply get by when you can live? “Bravery is the solution to regret[10],” so be brave! Wear the bright clothes, dream the big dreams, ride the wave of optimism, think the happy thoughts, lead the life of fascinated inquiry and discovery.
I am me: I smile at strangers, I do what makes me happy, I encourage others, I choose color, I own my pizazz. And I will not apologize for it.
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A quick note: I derived all quotes used in this blog post (sans the Oprah and Kate Spade credits) from Google Momentum. I’m not kidding: Download the dashboard app. It provides the little “nudge” needed when you are on the verge of giving into the tempting negativity that surrounds you. Don’t let it.
[1] The grass is greener on the other side because it’s fertilized with bullshit. Just saying.
[2]“At my wedding they had M&M&M&Ms. We had more “m’s” on our candy. So a little bit bigger, a little bit better.”
“I just got back from my honeymoon, actually. We went to the moon: It was made of honey.”
http://www.nbc.com/saturday-night-live/video/penelope-wedding/n12592
[3] …For the record, one of those people should not be Charlie Sheen. #REALwinning.
[4] No, I didn’t just pull this quote out of my butt. [But that would be really cool, right?!] Rather, it was one of the motivational quips I encountered one day while booting up my computer for Google Momentum. The name alone says it all. If you don’t already have this feature, I would take a good, hard look at your life and download it ASAP. With Google Momentum, every time you log on your computer personally greets you by name, embraces your senses with a striking, ever-changing picture of some exotic locale, allows you to set goals for the day (AND cross them out once you have accomplished said task… my favorite part!) and buoys you with a motivational quote of the day. Honestly, I often find myself excited in the morning as a boot up my laptop, eager to see what positive tidbit my computer will reveal. Do it: Do it now!
[5]Carlos Castaneda
[6] …And if you loathe her handbags, don’t want/need to spend money, or are a man, simply go in just for a rush of color-filled happiness and inspiration. You won’t be sorry.
[7] Now Chip and Joanna Gaines and Kate Spade need to pay me to write for them. Gladly: The offer still stands.
[8] I’m not opposed…
[9] Zig Ziglar
[10] Robin Sharma
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