I don’t know the answers.
I just show up every day and try.
Yesterday I was in the middle of a particularly grueling Peloton workout when my favorite instructor, Ally Love, spoke these simple words. There’s nothing inherently revelatory about these words—they are ordinary, straightforward, and not particularly poetic. However, something about this sentiment resonates with me on a very deep level.
How we show up in life most certainly matters, but sometimes things fall outside our scope of influence and control. No matter how hard we try, we may still fail and come up horribly short, wildly grasping for some magical answer—some elusive silver bullet—that doesn’t really exist. Yes, answers yield reassurance, and the need for certainty is deeply human, but sometimes our most certain reality is the reality that life is never truly certain at all.
These are the moments where the best we can do is show up and try every single day.
And, perhaps surprisingly, these seemingly small actions ultimately add up to create a monumental impact.
While I’d never claim to be an avid fisherman (I don’t even eat fish), I have been thinking a lot about resilience and adaptability over these last several weeks, and there’s something particularly inspiring about salmon that readily captures my attention. Salmon are considered “anadromous,” which means they can live in both fresh water and salt water despite most fish’s capability to survive in one water type over the other. Indeed, salmon are born in fresh water, migrate to the salty ocean after the first several months of life, and eventually return to freshwater when it’s time to spawn. This highly resilient adaptive quality is as unusual as it is impressive: Very few fish species can survive such wide ranges of salinity and would die if required to transition between fresh water and salt water this way. Notably, salmon have developed an incredible series of physiological and behavioral adaptations that enable them to not just survive, but thrive, in multiple environmental contexts.
The ability to thrive in multiple environmental contexts.
If that’s not beautiful—if that’s not applicable to our current circumstances and the global response to COVID-19—then I’m not sure what is.
As we all know, these are highly unusual times. People have fallen ill, jobs are at risk, food and basic supplies have suddenly become questionably attainable hot commodities, and families everywhere have been jolted from the normal routines and cadence of everyday life. And while we are swimming through a murky, seemingly bottomless ocean of uncertainty, there’s something unifying and hopeful that keeps us moving forward: We have the ability to navigate this. We have the ability to thrive in multiple contexts.
Over the last several weeks I have been particularly inspired by humanity’s overwhelming support, resilience, and ingenuity to overcome the seemingly insuperable obstacles that threaten to tear us apart. Despite the odds, we have ultimately bonded together and made the collective decision to swim upstream and boldly explore new environmental contexts.
While a series of impressive actions have unfolded on a larger scale, I am similarly moved by the thoughtful and intimate small-scale responses demonstrated in communities around the world. These actions don’t operate on the same highly magnified level, yet their impacts are lasting and transformative. In the short span of a month I have seen people embody compassion and flex their creativity muscles in highly inventive, unprecedented ways to come together and create meaningful connection.
Individuals who have not spoken in weeks, months, and even years are now coming together to support and check in with one another.
Companies are solving previously nonexistent problems and creating solutions that strengthen connection and inspire hope.
During a crisis, our fundamental human needs don’t shift, they just amplify. We still need food, water, shelter, and connection; now we just may need them to an even higher degree. The physical separation that our current context demands creates a looming void we must overcome in order to survive, and, despite the abundant ambiguity we have most certainly “shown up” and risen to the challenge.
People can help each other in humble, heroic ways. Small actions can have monumental effects that encourage others not only to be present and “try” but also pay it forward. In this vein, I found it only fitting to share a few personal examples that have encouraged connection and boosted resilience in the midst of quarantine:
-For the past three Saturdays my family has come together for virtual happy hour and game night. This time together is immensely valuable, and, if we were in the rhythms and routines of our normal everyday schedules, we simply wouldn’t take the opportunity to slow down and intentionally connect in this way. While we are not in each other’s physical company, we can feel each other’s presence, and boy do we laugh. It’s funny how suddenly not having anything to do removes the concrete barriers believed to have once existed and creates freedom for anything to be possible.
-A couple weeks ago a former housemate from my master’s program reached out to our group and suggested we connect for an “ACE Tucson happy hour.” Eight of us lived together during my first year of teaching in the Arizona desert, and, because life so often gets in the way, I haven’t always been able to stay in touch with my friends in the way I’d like to. Therefore, I readily welcomed her suggestion and was pleasantly surprised when all eight of us—spanning seven different states and two different time zones—were able to jump on the call and chat for an hour. It was a lovely way to pass an evening and strengthen meaningful connections forged during a particularly formative period of life.
-My boss recently expressed her appreciation for my teammates and me by sending us all electronic gift cards to Jeni’s Splendid Ice Creams, a now highly renowned delectable creamery native to Columbus, Ohio. Her note contained one simple instruction: “Treat yo’self.” This deliciously scrumptious surprise was as thoughtful as it was unexpected, and I derived an inordinate amount of joy gleefully scrolling through Jeni’s website and pondering which of the scrumptious flavors I would select. As if by magic, pints of Pistachio & Honey, Wildberry Lavender, and Blackout Chocolate Cake arrived at my doorstep today. I couldn’t have been more thrilled to unbox the vibrant orange packaging and revel in the small joys of an indulgent, unforeseen treat.
-Thus far I have participated in two virtual book clubs—one with my mom and the other with the Notre Dame Club of Minnesota—to experience some of my favorite things: Books, beer, and camaraderie. Participating in a regularly-scheduled activity was gratifying in a time when most other commitments have been cancelled. These evenings created some much needed normalcy and left me feeling refreshed, renewed, and more well-read than before.
-This week my Peloton idol and role model, the aforementioned Ally Love, decided to use this unusual context to experiment with something new. Love wears many hats in addition to her role as a Peloton instructor, and one of those hats involves her role as the founder and CEO of Love Squad, a community that emboldens women to unleash their inner boss and reclaim their power to create bold, meaningful change. Based in New York City, Love Squad frequently hosts a series of seminars and various opportunities for entrepreneurial businesswomen to connect and learn something new. Usually these offerings are pricey, highly coveted, and relatively inaccessible to anyone not living in the greater metropolitan area. However, given our current circumstances Love decided to be bold and try something new: She launched the first ever digital (free!) Love Squad event and opened it to the first 50 people who signed up. Given my passion obsession for all things Ally Love, you better believe I was one of those 50 fortunate women. Over the course of an hour and a half I had the unique opportunity to personally connect with Love as she discussed the ins and outs of personal branding and hosted a robust Q&A session. In addition to the serious fan girl moment I had throughout the call, this event inspired me to learn something new and enabled me to connect with my otherwise inaccessible role model for a powerful, educational experience. The event was surreal, and you better believe I signed off with stars hearts in my eyes.
Sure, these small actions didn’t cure COVID-19 or dissolve society’s growing fear and uncertainty, but they still had monumental effects on all involved. Nothing extraordinary or even heroic was required to create a lasting impact. Rather, all it took was people without answers who showed up daily and consistently tried.
In a meeting this week a senior leader shared a particularly powerful sentiment: “A crisis is such a terrible thing to waste.”
I realize at first this statement can sound jarring and even off-putting. Waste? A crisis? Why should it matter if we waste something we never wanted in the first place, let alone something that is highly destructive and life-altering? Why should we concern ourselves with wastefulness at a time like this, when so many other highly critical needs desperately need to be met?
And yet, if we take a step back from this initial reaction, we can find a certain veracity and even beauty contained within this sentiment. Crisis is inevitable; no matter our age, race, gender, or socioeconomic status, we will all face conflict and adversity at some point in life. True, crises, are destructive and detrimental, but this effect is natural and entirely out of our control.
However, how we choose to respond to the crisis at hand can ultimately yield positive, transformative outcomes. Some of the biggest discoveries and breakthroughs have been made in times of struggle, isolation, and duress. These periods of hardship have pushed humans to our limits and jarred us so aggressively from our comfort zones that we’ve had no choice but to respond one of two ways.
Will we sink?
Or will we swim?
Like salmon, let’s choose to thrive in multiple contexts and adapt to whatever rapidly changing environment life throws at us.
Let’s choose to swim.
We don’t need to know the answers.
Let’s just show up every day and try.
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