Baby Steps

Recently I’ve found myself thinking in absolutes. It’s either this or that, right or wrong, all or nothing. I’m currently in the midst of tackling a lot of big projects and solving a lot of juicy problems – both at work and at home – and I’ve started to recognize that I’m getting stuck in this trap of binary thinking, of thinking in ORs.

And, in case you were wondering, this is particularly unhelpful.

Because – surprise! – not everything in life is a matter of OR. It’s not as simple as this or that, right or wrong, all or nothing. Instead of thinking in ORs, we need to start thinking in ANDs.

Life is layered, multifaceted, and beautifully complex. It’s possible (and in fact highly probable) for multiple things to simultaneously be true, even if – perhaps especially if – they are contradictory. Possibility exists in the ANDs: AND is where progress happens and change is made. Once we realize – and embrace – this, then I truly believe we will begin to unlock everything around us.

Winston Churchill once said, “Perfection is the enemy of progress.” And while I know he certainly didn’t drum up this phrase on my behalf[1], sometimes I can’t help but feel that this statement was created explicitly for me. I want so badly to make progress – to learn, grow, evolve, and challenge myself – that I often let perfection be the enemy of good. In other words, sometimes I want to fly so badly – and in just the right way – that I ultimately limit myself from ever getting off the ground at all.

Living this way is extremely vexing and can ultimately lead to a sense of frustration and even stagnation. We can’t let getting it right every single time prevent us from making any true tangible progress, and sometimes the most important thing we can do is take a step back and break things down into smaller actions so we can use the information available to do the next right thing.

In other words, sometimes the best thing we can do is slow the heck down and take some freaking baby steps.

As is the case for many areas in my life these days, Fitz has become my teacher and inspiration in modeling this important life lesson. As I’ve shared in previous posts, Fitz is a German Shorthaired Pointer (GSP), and GSPs are notorious for loving the outdoors, particularly water. Pointers are often hunting dogs, and, to make this possible, the breed has traditionally been bred to love the water. And while Cam and I don’t plan on hunting Fitz[2], we do love being outside and have grown to spend a considerable amount of time at, on, or around the lake. In fact, in thinking about our future dog and selecting a breed, we intentionally gravitated towards pointers partially because they enjoy water: We thought a GSP would make the perfect addition to our outdoorsy crew.

So, enter Fitz, our now fifteen-week-old pointer puppy. Fitz is many things – goofy, adventurous, bold, and cuddly – but above all I’d say the boy is pretty freaking fearless. Fitz will bounce, pounce, run, hop, and investigate his way towards pretty much anything and everything in life. I attribute this largely to his intellect; I swear this dog is too smart for his own good[3], and if he doesn’t currently know how to do something or get what he wants, you better damn well believe he’ll figure it out. Indeed, within the first day we brought him home Fitz figured out how to open the sliding glass shower door – with me actively taking a shower in it – because he was curious where I had suddenly disappeared to and wanted to figure it out. In short, the little man is vehemently curious and impossibly fearless.

This, paired with the disposition of his breed, is why Cam and I (unrealistically) half expected Fitz to whole heartedly embrace the water from day one. And yet, much to our “all or nothing” dismay, this was not the case.

Instead, we’re taking baby steps.

Partially because he’s still figuring it out and partially because we don’t want to traumatize the poor guy, we’re gradually exposing Fitz to water in different ways and settings. Some people introduce their dogs to water by literally throwing them into it so that they learn to “sink or swim.” We, however, refuse to take this approach because a) we don’t want to terrorize Fitz so that he unintentionally develops a fear of water, and b) because we aren’t freaking monsters. So instead, we’re working on gradually exposing Fitz to water in various settings and letting him choose how he wants to engage with it. We’ve ventured over to Medicine Lake a few different times now, and this tactic proves to be working relatively well. While Fitz hasn’t charged full steam ahead into the lake, he’s become more and more willing to engage with the water and will run up and down the shoreline, sniff at the lapping waves, and even wade out in a few preliminary attempts to “chase” after us. We have even pulled out a kayak to see how he’d interact with it[4] and were delighted as we watched him explore something new, unusual, and even a bit scary for the very first time.

In other words, Fitz is taking baby steps. He isn’t diving right in, he isn’t running all out to water, and yet… he doesn’t have to. Fitz is taking it one thing at a time, and, in doing so, he’s actually making tremendous progress. We are going slowly, operating in ANDs, and breaking things down into small manageable pieces instead of trying to tackle a whole meaty problem all at once.

The best part of all? We’re learning a lot about him – and ourselves – in the process.

I think we could all take a lesson from Fitz here: Let’s remind ourselves that it’s okay to slow things down every now and then. In fact, sometimes that is the best thing we can do. Don’t let perfection be the enemy of progress. Keep on taking those baby steps – one step at a time – and you will get there. For sometimes the best meals are made in a slow cooker, marinating bit by bit and getting more and more flavorful over time.

So, as we transition into fall and embrace this new season, let’s remember to ease in, be kind to ourselves, and take life in baby steps.

Keep on moving. Keep on progressing.

Step by beautiful step.