A little over five years ago, I sat down at my computer: A girl, a 120 Crayola crayon box, and a crazy idea. And while I didn’t know it then, at that moment I was on the cusp of embarking on a beautiful adventure.
On November 18, 2015 I wrote my first post of this blog series where I framed my idea and teed up a whimsical self-created challenge I was mildly uncertain of and yet utterly crazy about. As I thought through my plan and fleshed out my ideas, I committed to rooting my writing in color—perhaps as more of a tone or even lifestyle than a mere design challenge—and intentionally decided to release myself to the unknown, consciously commissioning life’s inevitable variables to help paint the rest of my canvas. I wrote:
“Here’s my idea: It’s a tad unconventional, so bear with me. I have decided to blog my way through a crayon box. A crayon box? Is she crazy? Well, yes, but that’s irrelevant here. My plan is to select one crayon at a time to use as my vibrant muse. Specifically, my selection will demand that I write a blog post directly centering on that day’s color…
The parameters I am setting for myself don’t extend much further than that. Clearly this is uncharted territory. I am requiring myself to somehow write a post that develops a story, explores a question, unpacks a theme, or investigates a social commentary, all revolving around said color of the day. In a sense, I don’t quite know where this is going, and yet, I am intrigued by the creativity of the vast unknown and simultaneously know exactly where it is going. As Flannery O’Connor famously penned, “I don’t know what I think until I read what I say:” I don’t know where this blog is headed, but I have had a “colorful” spark of inspiration and am intrigued enough to pursue answers.”
Looking back on those initial words, now years later, I can’t help but smile[1] at my 23-year-old self. And while this experience has certainly taken me to places I couldn’t have then imagined, there’s a certain familiarity, truth, and wisdom that echoes from these original, blog-founding sentiments. Today I still don’t know what I think until I read what I say, and yet this blog has played an integral role in helping me make sense of my own messy ideas, navigate myriad uncertainties, cope with considerable changes and sometimes struggle, and, in doing so, ultimately realize—and more fully step into— my own voice. And though I’m still navigating uncharted territory on a daily basis[2] and writing my next chapter quite literally as it unfolds, I now do so with a newfound confidence, unwavering conviction, and firm sense of self. Writing To Be Surprised: Using the Whole Box of Crayons has not only reinforced the power of perseverance, but it has also illuminated the value of living a colorful life and taught me that no challenge is too big or too daunting if only we choose to fully believe in and commit to ourselves.
I first began my technicolor blogging adventure with a crayon “present Katie” can’t help but thank “past Katie” for selecting due to its symbolic significance: “Wild Blue Yonder.” In that first color entry from November 20, 2015, I mused:
“Whether one seeks to ponder and push the boundaries of ‘the infinite blue sky,’ explore the endless continuation and ensuing possibilities of ‘the big blue,’ or transcend the familiar and comfortable and delve into the ‘wild blue yonder,’ there remains a similar vein of amazement and eager anticipation regarding what lies ahead. In its sheer beauty, magnitude and expansiveness, the ‘blue’ is so enticing and tantalizing that it hooks its beholders on the precept of intrigue and instills an eager hunger to explore, uncover, and understand more.”
Hooks its beholders on the precept of intrigue.
Instills an eager hunger to explore, uncover, and understand more.
Man, I think “past Katie” and “present Katie” would get along swimmingly.
119 posts and over five years later, this same sentiment still rings true: I maintain a profound amazement for and eager anticipation of what lies ahead. It’s worth noting that since I began this adventure of blogging my way through a crayon box, I have lived in three different states, held four different jobs, transitioned to an entirely new career path, and continued to grow and develop as a devoted lifelong learner. And while certainly a lot has changed, at least one thing remains the same: I still possess an eager hunger to explore, uncover, and understand more. I still cultivate a deep longing to grow, develop, iterate, and discover, to venture to those “Outer Space[s]” where I have not gone before and test and refine the limits of that which I know to be true.
While I don’t know for certain what comes next, I do know whatever it is will inevitably embody the same passionate fervor, the same unrelenting joy, and the same curious zest for life that this colorful adventure has taken me on. In this vein, I choose to forever keep the commitment I made on November 18, 2015 to “to seek possibility in every corner; to uncover the beauty in the infinite moments that comprise daily life; to employ every tool, asset, and gift at my disposal to the full extent of its capabilities; and to slow down and appreciate the countless hues that color this grand artwork we call life.”
This is not the end of a story but merely the closing of a chapter, and that which lies ahead surely promises to be even bigger, bolder, and more brilliantly colored than I can presently imagine.
Life is difficult. Life is beautiful. Life is inherently complex. It is precious, it is not promised, and it is ours to live.
And, if I’ve learned anything over the last 5 years and past 120 crayons, it is this: No matter what lies ahead, I plan to live life to its absolute fullest.
And, in doing so, I promise to never stop planning To Be Surprised.
[1] And cry. Let’s be real: As I write this, I’m literally bawling. And not in the “cute cry” kind of way you see in movies, either. I’m talking a nose running, mascara bleeding, “I just wiped snot on my sleeve and am not even sorry about it” kind of cry. I’m just feeling my feelings over here, don’t mind me.
[2] But let’s be real: Who isn’t?
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