Nothing about this year has been normal. Nothing about this year has been conventional. Nothing about this year has proven we must remain tied to that which we’ve previously known to be true if we ultimately hope to grow, evolve, and prosper.
Rather, the opposite is true.
This year has been entirely abnormal. This year has been mischievously unconventional. This year has demanded that we learn, experiment, innovate, and break from the past if there’s any hope for us to move boldly, confidently, and defiantly into the future.
This year has required us to live untamed.
Over the last couple months, I have been on a major Brené Brown kick. As an American professor, lecturer, author, and podcast host, not only is Brené Brown wildly intelligent, intoxicatingly curious, and fiercely empathetic, but she’s also a relatable, salt-of-the-earth “every-woman” with an abundantly generous spirit and an impossibly charming Texas accent. Indeed, Brené[1] is one of the most solid resources and reliable sounding boards I’ve encountered for thinking through this complicated, flawed, and deeply human thing we call life.
In an effort to consistently get myself out of the house, I’ve committed to taking daily walks that allow me to lace up my running shoes, put in my earbuds, and enjoy a much-needed dose of fresh air served with a generous side of perspective. I prioritize this time to recharge my batteries and stimulate my curiosity with myriad audiobooks and podcasts, and nine times out of ten Brené is my walking companion of choice. Her podcasts Unlocking Us and Dare to Lead are absolutely excellent, and both explore captivating life concepts through discussion with accomplished guest speakers. I’ve grown to crave the familiarity of Brené’s warm accent and unapologetically raucous laugh in my ear, and walking with her—or at least with her podcasts—has been a saving grace for me this year, particularly when my mind needs to quiet and my brain craves something stimulating and juicy.
Early on in my Unlocking Us deep-dive I listened to an episode Brené did with Glennon Doyle. Glennon[2] is a New York Times bestselling author, she is a wife[3], she is a mother, she is an activist, and she is one of the most authentic, motivational, scintillating writers I have ever read. The power of Glennon is that she is raw; she is direct and tells it like it is, no matter how messy things may get. Glennon is real. Glennon is human. Glennon is a truth-teller. Glennon is the type of thinker whose ideas make me giddy at the thought of what’s possible, feeding my hunger to think more deeply, question more boldly, and live more vividly.
Glennon Doyle is untamed.
But I’m getting ahead of myself: Let’s back up.
In addition to the indisputable fact that Glennon is a badass, Brené invited her to her podcast so they could discuss Glennon’s recently published best-selling book, Untamed. Part memoir, part self-help manual, part comedy, and part call-to-arms, Untamed is an absolute rocket of a book that I strongly believe should be required reading for every person on this planet.
Indeed, as the book jacket unapologetically proclaims:
“Soulful and uproarious, forceful and tender, Untamed is both an intimate memoir and a galvanizing wake-up call. It is the story of how one woman learned that a responsible mother is not one who slowly dies for her children, but one who shows them how to fully live. It is the story of navigating divorce, forming a new blended family, and discovering that the brokenness or wholeness of a family depends not on its structure but on each member’s ability to bring her full self to the table. And it is the story of how each of us can begin to trust ourselves enough to set boundaries, make peace with our bodies, honor our anger and heartbreak, and unleash our truest, wildest instincts so that we become women who can finally look at ourselves and say: There She Is.
Untamed shows us how to be brave. As Glennon insists: The braver we are, the luckier we get.”
In one word? Untamed is pure, powerful, brilliant magic.
Five minutes into my walk—which, not coincidentally, was also five minutes into this podcast episode—I found myself pulling out my phone and ordering Untamed on the spot. I couldn’t wait until I got home: I need to have this book in my life yesterday.
Brené began by asking Glennon about the prologue, where she depicts a cheetah, Tabitha, who was born and raised in captivity and never knew the true wild she was originally meant to experience. Instead, Tabitha has been “domesticated” and grew up in a zoo where she has a Labrador Retriever, Minnie, as a best friend. Glennon visited this zoo with her family several years ago and prefaces her book by recounting the formative, earth-shattering moment this experience had on her. She remembers Tabitha seemed tightly-wound, uneasy, and wholly dissatisfied and writes:
“It was like she was remembering something. She looked regal. And a little scary…
…I wished I could ask her, ‘What’s happening inside you right now?’
I knew what she’d tell me. She’d say, ‘Something’s off about my life. I feel restless and frustrated. I have this hunch that everything was supposed to be more beautiful than this. I imagine fenceless, wide-open savannahs. I want to run and hunt and kill. I want to sleep under an ink-black, silent sky filled with stars. It’s all so real I can taste it.’
Then she’d look back at the cage, the only home she’s ever known. She’d look at the smiling zookeepers, the bored spectators, and her panting, bouncing, begging best friend, the Lab.
She’d sigh and say, ‘I should be grateful. I have a good enough life here. It’s crazy to long for what doesn’t even exist.’
I’d say:
Tabitha. You’re not crazy.
You are a goddamn cheetah.”
Have you ever felt stuck? Have you ever felt unsettled? Have you ever thought “everything was supposed to be more beautiful than this?” Undoubtedly you have, because you, like all of us, are human.
And yet…
Have you also found yourself rationalizing, “I should be grateful,” “I have a good enough life,” and “it’s crazy to long for what doesn’t even exist?”
I’d dare say you probably have.
As Glennon unpacks throughout Untamed, our perceived need to neatly fit into the boxes and expectations society sets for us subsequently leads to inevitable—and even dehumanizing—personal loss. We weren’t meant to live like this, confined in cages we didn’t build: We were meant to be wild.
Glennon doesn’t provide advice as much as she offers real struggle and perspective, giving us a raw, unfiltered window into her experiences so that we can more clearly see and understand our own. Glennon doesn’t teach or instruct but rather offers another, much more enticing and motivating option. She frames: This is what could be possible… Now are you ready to shirk the rules, defy convention, tap into your innermost longings, and make that your reality? Are you willing to sit in the discomfort, wade through the hurt, and cut through the noise so you can ultimately walk through the flames reborn as a more beautiful, brilliant, and true version of yourself? Are you willing to live untamed?
Through this work, Glennon teaches us countless lessons:
“We can do hard things.”
“The braver we are, the luckier we get.”
“Being human is not hard because you’re doing it wrong, it’s hard because you’re doing it right.”
But, above all, Glennon invites us to discard the what-ifs, embrace our power, and step into the lives we were truly meant to live.
Call it “wild watermelon,” call it “untamed,” call it whatever you will: Put simply, Glennon urges you to be fully, vibrantly, and unapologetically you.
I could honestly talk about Untamed for hours—and I gladly will if you read it and ever want to chat—but I won’t. Instead, I encourage you to take the next step and discover this masterpiece for yourself.
Because, chances are you will feel a spark.
Chances are you will hear a little voice inside you saying, “wait, I can do hard things.”
Chances are Glennon will inspire you to rethink at least one element of your life so you can live in a way that is more free, wild, and true.
Why?
Because everything is supposed to be more beautiful than this.
Why?
Because you are a goddamn cheetah.
[1] Note I am intentionally referring to her as Brené instead of Brown because I feel like we’re old, familiar friends at this point…
[2] Again, I’m intentionally calling her Glennon because 1) what a name, 2) she’s one of the most approachable, down-to-earth writers I’ve ever met and would have it no other way, and 3) because we’re totally BFFs… she just doesn’t know it yet.
[3] Married to Abby Wambach, one of the best soccer players to ever live, no less! I freaked out when I made this connection: I grew up playing soccer and absolutely idolized Abby. While some teenage girls had pictures of Orlando Bloom and Brad Pitt plastered all over their bedroom walls, my room prominently featured Abby scoring goals, cheering me on, and making me feel like an absolute boss. (Priorities.)
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