The Wonderful, “Mauvelous” World of Disney

Disney—the wonderful world where moments are magical and your wildest dreams come true.

When most people think of Disney World they envision little kids hugging Mickey and riding Dumbo, ice cream bar in hand and mouse ears securely affixed. Most adults wouldn’t dream of visiting the parks without children in tow to justify the crowds, chaos, and inevitable meltdowns that are guaranteed to transpire while visiting this popular vacation destination. True, “Adult Disney” certainly isn’t for everyone—you have to be willing to suspend reality and indulge in childhood fantasy (and madness) after all—but, to me, there is nothing better than spending time with my mom visiting the “happiest place on earth.”

Mom and I booked our “girl’s trip” in early October. We had taken one similar vacation prior to this—two years ago, also in Disney—and were hungry for a way to have fun and celebrate time with one another. As mentioned in my last post, we delighted in counting down the days until our trip, and we anxiously anticipated taking brief reprieve from our daily responsibilities to partake in the magic of the mouse.

Reality set in as soon as we boarded the plane: This was really happening: We were going to Disney! The two and a half hour flight whizzed by as we caught up and chatted about our vacation plans. In no time we had boarded the bus to our resort, were in our room, changed[1], and ready to hit the park to soak up some sun!

Our first stop was Disney’s Hollywood Studios to visit the newly opened Toy Story Land. I grew up watching Toy Story and have always appreciated the humor, creativity, and character growth each movie develops. Andy went away to college the same summer I did, and I remember crying in the movie theatre reminiscing about my own childhood and similarly anticipating the exciting future opportunities that awaited me. Walking into Toy Story Land for the first time brought me back to these moments, and I could feel myself begin to slow down and give over to the whimsical fancies of childhood.

If there is a typical way to “Disney[2]” then Mom and I do not adhere to the status quo. Perhaps this is attributed to our enthusiastic appreciation for everything the theme parks have to offer, our travel status as two adult women without small children, our determination to maximize our time and money, and our diligent organization and deep love of strategic planning. Regardless, as soon as Mom and I set foot on Disney property WE. GO. HARD.

Disney Girl’s Trips include the following:

1. Meticulously scouting out daily plans that maximize ride exposure and wait time efficiency: Mom and I make it a priority to lay out our plans and strategize routes that lend themselves to maximize ride exposure even before setting foot in the parks. We outline our game plan then flit from ride to ride, crisscrossing the parks multiple times before the crowds have the chance to thicken to an offensively dense capacity. How else can you expect to ride five popular attractions within 65 minutes of the park’s opening? The few, the proud, the Disney girls’ trippers.

2. Hustling (read: walking aggressively) from attraction to attraction: Our family likes to joke that Mom and I (read: Mom) will trample old people in scooters and elbow little kids in order to dodge slow tourists and avoid getting trapped in “Mufasa is about to be trampled by wildebeest” type lines. Mom doesn’t find this funny and insists this simply isn’t true. I most certainly find it funny and remind her that every good joke includes a little taste of truth…

(Yeah, right…)

3. Navigating Disney FastPass+ like a boss: Disney lets vacationers schedule their FastPasses 60 days in advance of their trip. I jumped online as soon as the clock struck midnight[3] of our 60-day mark and placed our magical order. Rock’n’Roller Coaster, Tower of Terror, Avatar Flight of Passage: Some rides practically necessitate bypassing the line. I solidified our timing and reveled in the magic of Disney all before leaving for work: I was nothing short of a boss. Ally Love would be proud.

4. Riding the thrilling, most popular rides as many times in a row as possible: … And then reveling in our success and silently gloating while the line continues to increase exponentially after we have sufficiently enjoyed our fill. Who doesn’t love riding Expedition Everest three times in less than an hour while the line slowly meanders to a screeching halt? This type of sorcery takes careful planning and an acute desire to hustle. The perfect combination of riding during “extra magic hours,” jumping in the single rider line as early as possible, and then cashing in one of three strategically placed FastPasses is the recipe for certain success. Not sorry about it.

5. Park hopping til we drop: For those Disney-goers looking for increased flexibility, adding the “park hopper” feature to your park tickets is the way to go. While we have utilized this feature during previous family vacations, traveling as a party of two allowed us to take this to a whole new level. Three parks in one day? Don’t mind if I do! Riding the biggest attractions in multiple parks all within a few short hours? You’re damn straight! As the children’s shirt I stumbled upon states, “The mountains are calling.” And I most certainly must go. Thank you, park hopper, for making this possible.

6.Tracking our mileage and striving to set a new PR with each subsequent day: Ten miles in one day? Not good enough! Twelve and a half miles the next day? Now that’s more like it! Why not just shoot for a half marathon of park walking? Mom and I are quite competitive about the mileage we put in, and we constantly update one another with distances goals throughout the day. It makes taking off our shoes off at the end of the night all the more rewarding.

7. Drinking around the world: Care to sprint through Italy, grab a few beers in Germany, and then double back to enjoy live music in the U.S.? Can I interest you in a British pint at the Rose and Crown before sampling fresh honey almond baklava in Morocco? Who knew Adult Disney could be so fun?

8. Proudly wearing the complimentary “I’m Celebrating” pin: While my family enjoys collecting Disney pins in general, the famous “I’m Celebrating” pin is perhaps the most glorious pin of all. It is extremely common for Disney guests to don pins in all shapes and sizes—from tiny collector pins that portray various characters and park attractions to larger pins that announce numerous causes for celebration—pins abound throughout the parks. These pins come in several varieties (“Happy Birthday,” “Just Married,” etc.), but our favorite pin simply says “I’m Celebrating” with a colon where you can write in whatever fun celebration-worthy event you desired. We proudly displayed our “I’m Celebrating: Girl’s Trip” pins, which prompted people to quip, “Enjoy your girl’s trip!” or “Have a great time on your girl’s trip!” wherever we went. And have a great girl’s trip we did.

9. Epcot’s Garden Rocks Concert Series: Each spring Epcot hosts numerous artists for concerts at the outdoor pavilion in the “America” portion of the World Showcase. This series features artists who are typically either on their way up or on their way out, but this doesn’t dull our enthusiasm in the slightest. We saw several ELO concerts during our first girl’s trip and loved it so much that this trip we made a point to see as many concerts as possible. The lineup included Ambrosia, Magic Giant, and Air Supply. While I was vaguely familiar with a few songs from Ambrosia and Air Supply, I hadn’t heard of Magic Giant until this trip. While this concert was the least populated of the three, it was by far the most exciting, and Mom and I became instant fans. The band’s indie folk music is notably catchy, and the lead singer’s bouncy enthusiasm—he literally hopped, skipped, and flipped his way through the band’s set—was infectious. The group placed particular focused on involving the audience in as many ways as possible. At one point the entire band even descended from the stage and instructed the audience to circle up in a tight formation as it sang. I have never encountered anything like this at a concert, and the experience was charmingly intimate and humbling. Mom and I instantly followed them on Spotify as soon as we returned to our resort. I also created a playlist of the Disney bands we have seen thus far, and I greatly look forward to listening and reminiscing on our fun-packed time-shared. I don’t know if anyone else will enjoy this playlist, but it sure holds a lot of magic for the two of us.

10. Strategically timed periods to refuel (before getting up and doing it all over again): This involves the perfect combination of shade, coffee, and a quiet place tucked away from the crowd chaos that noticeably peeks around noon and continues into the afternoon hours. Disney was genius to recently include a Starbucks location in each of its four parks[4], and each afternoon when we started to feel like we were draggin’ our wagons we would seek out the Bucks and locate a cool spot to enjoy our even cooler drinks. These periods may or may not have also involved a few discretely placed afternoon naps, and they served as just the bit of reenergizing needed to make the most of our magical afternoons.

11. Acknowledging that people watching is one of the most underrated attractions of all time: The people watching in Disney is absolutely unparalleled. Some of my favorite Disney moments involve either watching or interacting with people on the buses or in lines and then recounting these stories with Mom. For instance, while waiting to board the infamous service elevator of “Tower of Terror” we saw one set of parents with their son of about four or five years old. The little boy was calmly standing with his parents without the slightest hint of fear or nervous anticipation. I turned to Mom and said, “I don’t think that boy knows what’s about to happen.” Then I turned to see another little boy—this one about eight or nine years old—moving his hand as he gleefully articulated “up, up, up” and then swooshed it floor-ward and went “DOWN!” Again, I turned to Mom and said, “That boy absolutely knows what’s about to happen.” Similarly, after being thoroughly soaked on Splash Mountain, Mom and I were in the bathroom drying off when we heard a young girl, also wet from the ride, loudly inquiring, “Mommy, can I take off my undies? Mommy? MOMMY CAN I TAKE OFF MY UNDIES?” Separately, an older gentleman on the bus told Mom a joke: “Have you heard of an EKG?” he asked. “Yeah,” mom said, “it tracks the activity of your heart.” “Have you heard of an EGG,” the man prompted, using the momentum from his first question to ask another seemingly medical related question. “No,” Mom responded, “I don’t believe I have.” He responded as a sly smile formed in the corners of his mouth, “It’s an egg. ” He pointed to me laughing, “Why don’t you try that one on her later on!” You can’t make this stuff up.

To the contrary, Disney Girl’s Trips most certainly do not include:

1. Whining: There’s no crying in Disney! During a previous family trip to the Magic Kingdom we witnessed another family in full meltdown mode. It was about mid-day, the sun was shining hot in the sky, and it was clear the kids had hit their breaking point. As they whined and cried their mom hysterically exclaimed, “We came all this way, we have spent all this money, we are in the happiest place on earth, and you are going to have fun, DAMMIT!” Naturally, we quickly adopted this as our Disney family motto.[5] So whenever Mom and I felt ourselves start to hit our saturation point we would simply remind ourselves, “We are at the happiest place on earth, and we are going to have fun, DAMMIT!”

2. Walking slowly: See item #2 in the above list. While at Disney, we have zero tolerance for meandering and dillydallying. Part of the beauty of traveling as a duo is that we can navigate large crowds with increased ease. Mom and I have our version of “crowd surfing” down to a science, and we strategically set picks for one another and float through crowds like it’s nobody’s business.

3. Getting “hangry:” Okay, every now and then one (or both) of us is bound to get a little hangry—as is susceptible to happen when you log the aggressive mileage we do—, but we don’t let ourselves dwell in our hangriness and promptly seek a solution before things escalate beyond the point of no return.

4. Waiting in long lines: Disney during spring break can be heinous, so it is important to do whatever necessary to avoid long lines. For us, this mainly involves two strategies: using FastPass and getting to the park as close to opening hours as is humanly possible. Some of the most popular attractions have wait times anywhere from 105 minutes[6] to 240 minutes[7]. Waiting in line for four hours[8]? That’s a hard pass. To combat this, we enter the parks as soon as possible, avoid Extra Magic Hours when helpful to do so, and walk/sprint to the most popular attractions situated at the back of the park first. Basically we consider, “What would the average person do?” and then we DON’T DO THAT THING!

5. Matchy-matchy Disney apparel: Words cannot describe the “over-the-top-edness” of some of the clothing we encountered throughout the parks. It seems everyone and their mother has purchased customized matching t-shirts to wear over the course of their Disney vacation. The parks abound with various interpretations of t-shirts purchased on Etsy that include mouse ears with the appropriate descriptor for the person wearing them. Mom, Dad, big sister, Kennedy, Wyatt—did you purchase these shirts just to remember your names and the respective roles each of you play? I’m not quite sure I follow… To make matters worse, the parks abound with matching couples’ shirts that say things to the extent of :“I’m her Mickey”/ “I’m his Minnie,” “He is my greatest adventure!”/ “She is my greatest adventure!” (insert Up! house and balloons here), and “She’s my queen” / “He’s my king” (insert Lion King characters here). A husband donned one of my least favorite shirts, which read, “I work to support my wife’s Disney addiction.” However, the worst “matchy-matchy” pair of all came from one pregnant couple. The wife wore a Beauty and the Beast inspired shirt that read “Beauty and the bump,” and her husband wore a matching shirt that said “Beast behind the bump.” Ew. What are you trying to prove? JUST. STOP.

6. Quitting: As one Disney apparel item preached, “park hop til you drop[9]!” Just like there is no crying in Disney, there certainly is no quitting either. Feet aching from exhaustion? Keep walking! Lower back aching from standing in line? Suck it up! Our version of “Disney-ing” is not for the faint of heart. Endurance is key to getting the most out of your magical moments.

In Disney, everything is a celebration. I realize some people might read this post and cringe thinking, “I thought this was supposed to be vacation: This doesn’t sound magical at all!”, and, you may be right. However, this is what works for us—this is how we Disney—and I wouldn’t have it any other way. The beauty of Disney vacations is that you can design them to fit your needs and tailor them to procure just the kind of experience you want. While Disney is certainly not one size fits all, it does allow for the kind of personalization required to make the most of your experience.

Just like Rock’n’Roller Coaster (one of our favorite rides), Mom and I do Disney like we are going from “zero to 60 in 2.8 seconds.” And while we were most certainly exhausted upon our return[10], we continue to revel in our experiences, recount stories from our trip, and appreciate the precious time we shared together at one of the happiest places on earth.

Nothing defines the wonderful, “mauvelous” magic of Disney quite like that. And that is certainly something worth celebrating.

[1] Birkenstock sandals: Hello, old friend! Oh how I’ve missed you!

[2] Yes, I am using this as a verb. As all true fans can attest, you can most certainly Disney.

[3] Or something like that.

[4] Although it would be even more genius to include a FastPass option to expedite the acquiring process…

[5] “What’s a motto with you?!”

[6] Or, as someone in line behind me mistakenly pointed out, “an hour and five minutes.” Facepalm.

[7] When it comes to outrageous wait times, the new Avatar Flight of Passage is the biggest offender. We were lucky enough to ride this twice (once in the standby line and once using FastPass), but during our first go-around we got in line five minutes after the park opened only to find a 75-minute line that practically circled Animal Kingdom. While waiting we learned the ride is so popular that the park actually lets guests get in line an hour before opening. We were shocked and slightly irritated, but, truth be told Flight of Passage is so breathtakingly incredible that it was worth the wait. I’ve never experienced a ride quite as realistic as this, and the authentic sensation of flying is reason enough for a trip to Disney.